Your Telephone Under the Proposed Net Neutrality Rules

Ring . . . Ring . . . Ring

Older Female Voice (OFV): Hello.

Young Female Voice (YFV): Hi, Mom!

OFV: Oh, hi dear. I’m so glad you called — I’ve been wanting to update you about Dad and was going to call you later.

YFV: That’s why I called, Mom. I’ve been worried.

OFV: I know dear. The cancer has been very difficult and it appears he has to go back into the hospital for some more tests and, possibly, another surgery.

YFV: Oh, Mom . . .

Announcer Voice: Is cancer a threat to you or your loved ones? Call the cancer specialists at Whack-It Cancer Centers now. Yes, tomorrow’s cure is waiting for you today at Whack-It Cancer Centers. Call 1-800-DIE-NOW2 to get started on the path to good health.

YFV: Mom? Mom, what’s that voice on the phone?

OFV: Oh, that’s just the pop-up advertising my phone company put into place. You remember when Congress voted to permit your ISP to sell your data. Well my phone company sued for the same privileges and won. We got a notice with our last bill that the phone company was no longer regulated by the FCC but to contact the FTC with any complaints. I tried calling them when this started but I couldn’t get through.

YFV: Mom, all I wanted to do is find out whether Dad was going to die. I’m really . . .

Announcer Voice: Worried about the burden on your loved ones when you pass? You can pre-plan your arrangements and spare your loved ones the difficulty of arranging your funeral and burial when you pass away. Call Dewey Buryem Quick Funeral Home. We have more than 100 locations to serve you better . . .

YFV (Yelling over Announcer): Mom! Mom, I’ll send you a letter. Bye.

[Phone hangs up.]